Seek Ye First

IMG_0564“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:33‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

This my “life verse.” I hesitate to say that it is my favorite, because my favorite verse typically tends to be whatever is speaking to me at that particular time. But this verse has been rattling around in my brain for years. It goes on in verse 34 to say, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

I am a worrier. I worry about anything and everything I could possibly worry about. I worry about my family, about my dog, about finances, about my faith. I worry about not being good enough, or doing things wrong. I worry about having a clean house and about what is going on in the world.  I worry about big, significant things and about little, stupid things.

For a long time I felt ashamed because of my worry. Someone once told me if you worry about things, it means you aren’t trusting God. Philippians 4:6 even says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” So I would pretend I wasn’t worried, that everything was fine and I was the model of perfect faith.

But the fact is , that’s just not true. I still feel anxious about many things. And I’ve learned that having faith isn’t about not worrying. It’s about learning to praise God through the worry, and constantly praying and giving those worries up to Him.

I continue to worry, maybe now more than ever because of my sweet little girl, the way the world is going these days, and various other factors in my life. But I also feel so much more peace, because I know that despite my worry God is in control. He has things figured out, and has planned a far better outcome than I could ever imagine. I have to work every day to lay down my anxieties at the foot of the cross, and I often pick them back up and have to lay them down again. It’s something that I struggle with, but I know that God is working with me and that through my worry He is showing me His strength.

Seeking the kingdom of God first isn’t easy. Some days it’s really hard. But I continually try (and fail) and try again, because in the end, what else is there?

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