Yesterday I quit my job. Without having a backup. Without knowing exactly what I will do. Without having a real plan.
Yesterday I quit my job, because I prayed and prayed and prayed about it and I know that’s what I’m supposed to do. I need to be a stay-at-home mom for my little girl. She is almost two months old, and I cannot imagine leaving her at daycare to go back to work. During the past two months, I have thought about what that would be like. What would it be like to have someone else raising my daughter five days per week, seven hours per day? What would it be like for her to walk her first steps or say her first words when I’m not around? I couldn’t stomach it. I would literally look at her and cry just thinking about it. So I knew I had to figure something out. (If you are a working mom, please do not take offense to this. I know that there are many women who choose to or have to work, and their children flourish.) So I prayed and thought and talked to my husband and prayed some more. And at around four in the morning, I had my answer. I knew God was telling me to stay home.
Yesterday I quit my job, and it’s kind of scary. Let’s be honest, having faith that God will provide is more easily said than done. We aren’t rich. We may have to live paycheck to paycheck for a while. But following God is not easy.
I was listening to a podcast this morning by Dr. Charles Stanley. In it he talked about how we have to be committed to following God. We have to step out and trust that God knows what he’s doing. Think about Abraham. God told him to go and sacrifice his own son, and he went. He didn’t think twice, because he trusted what God was telling him. Dr. Stanley pointed out something I had never before noticed: Abraham says “we” when he tells his servants of returning.
He said to his servants, “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.” (Genesis 22:5 NIV).
Abraham had faith that God would take care of things, and believed that Isaac would come back with him even when it seemed impossible. He was committed to what God told him to do and was counted faithful because of this.
Oh, if I could have faith like that. I try, really I do. But it’s also something I have to consciously work on. I think it’s that way for a lot of people – we know in our heads that God’s plan is right, and that He is taking care of us, but do we really believe it in our hearts? It’s a really difficult concept to grasp and hold onto and truly believe. At least, for me it is.
So, how do I work on this? I pray. I talk to my husband. I try to read my Bible more. And I quit my job. Because in the end, being committed to God means being willing to follow Him even when it’s scary.
Dr. Charles Stanley Podcast